“I Am The Storm”
Fate whispers to the warrior,
“You cannot withstand the storm.”
The warrior whispers back,
“I am the storm.”
–Unknown
What a fucking week.
This week, I am a storm. A storm of rage, devastation, fury, passion, and conviction. Usually for my open journals, I lean towards reflection on things happening in the current moment of my life. This week, what is affecting me intensely is the first wave of a ripple effect about to flood the world. A greater storm has been set in motion that will touch each and every one of us–and it’s calling for our freedom through the crushing downpour of oppression. This is going to be one of my most personal journals. My words will be honest, visceral, and raw. Because the consequences of recent events are so vast and drastic, I’ve made the decision to open the ocean of my grief and allow this tide of thoughts to flow forth. With hope, my words will reach others who need to hear them, to remind everyone out there that no one is alone in this fight.
It’s currently June 28th–just after a decimating decision to overturn Roe v Wade by the Supreme Court’s theocratic extremist majority, and just before the July 4th celebrations of Independence Day. Within the span of days, rights for gun owners were expanded as the federal protection of reproductive rights for all American women was abruptly erased. Religious views were capitalized over basic liberty, by the very people appointed to defend it. The wall built by our nation’s founders to separate church and state is crumbling before us, dismantling decades of progress.
I am seething inside. I feel displaced from the present by a whirlwind of heartache and fury, like I’ve been thrown into a time that’s wrong. When I awoke to the headlines on Friday morning, I didn’t want it to be true. I prayed it wasn’t real. And sure enough, it was. I saw the precipice of a dystopian nightmare realized, where rights can be rolled back in this travesty of a nation devolved from ‘the land of the free.’
Incredulously, some view this as a victory. People who claim to care about life, yet support no substantial efforts to sustain it. Once a child is born today in America, they are inheriting a deteriorating, hollow promise. As an American citizen they will struggle to obtain access to education, adequate health care, financial security, career opportunity, safety, shelter, and general support throughout their lives. And now? The basic civil liberties they will receive are in question. The strain on most American families is immense, between inflation, soaring gas prices, inaccessible housing, impossibly expensive health care, and a cost of living that dramatically outpaces the wages offered. This self-devouring cycle has only been exacerbated by the corporate control linked in tandem with governmental policy, where the wealthy continue to benefit the most and the working class proceeds to sink into oblivion. The fortunate few who are not living in fear of how they’ll make ends meet day to day have completely forsaken the very legs they stand upon as a society–and this entire facade of a structure is about to crash.
These recent decisions from the court do not value life in any meaningful way. Their agenda is purely pro-birth, expanding rights for the weapons fueling the mass school shootings that kill our kids. Those in support of the conservative justices only seem to actually care about the fleeting sensation of believing they’ve won. But here’s what’s interesting–nothing the conservative agenda wants to accomplish actually benefits the lives of regular people. The policies they’re pushing will not expand the American people’s rights, increase their earnings, ease the strain of supporting a family, or afford them a better quality of life. Their manipulation of the public is steep, and they use religion as a tool. The principles people are voting for that they’ve been told are favorable by God are the very policies designed to suppress them. And it’s a tale as old as the existence of human society.
The long-term manipulation of organized religion on regular people is every bit as effective as it is horrific. When combined with political agendas, this conditioning exists to oppress people into spiritual enslavement, beneath the guise of salvation. The Catholic Church did this expertly for generations–exploit the public’s faith, by convincing them that a human man (The Pope) was divinely appointed and therefore the only viable gateway to access their own salvation. How many wars were waged, and citizens murdered for political gain in direct contrast to the commandments under this lie? It’s a cruel tactic of intimidation, designed to uphold a power structure where people are separated from their spirituality through dependence on an intercedent leader. What I believe we’re witnessing, through the chaos and turmoil of these emerging battles, are the final ragged gasps of a dying institution. In the wake of this change, people are rising to embrace their worth–to lead themselves in freedom and truth, and build a life supported by their personal values. Throughout all of history, the one consistent desire every person has yearned for is the ability to express themselves freely and live a life of their choosing.
Without choice, we are not free. As American women, the right to our own autonomy in mind, body, and spirit is sacred–as with every living being on this earth. I find it ironic and repulsive that so many women are in favor of having choices taken from them, and the only way I can rationalize this is ignorance. No one should be forced to have an abortion if it’s against their personal beliefs, full stop. But how is it justifiable that their views should obstruct the choices of others? It’s not. I am just as passionate about defending the right to practice a religion as I am to protect others from it. In America as it was conceived–a free nation of opportunity–no specific religion or set of spiritual beliefs is greater than another, and everyone has an equal right to practice their faith–provided it does not infringe upon the freedom of others.
We were born into an era where we inherited rights that a legacy of women fought hard for, to ensure we would have opportunities they never knew. And we bear a responsibility to their legacy. Have we completely lost reverence and acknowledgement of their sacrifices? The rage I feel in my bones is greater than myself–it’s ancestral, an ascending chorus of the brave women who came before me. We were entrusted to carry the torch forward to illuminate the path of a brighter future, to protect personal freedom–not incinerate all of the progress made. I’m ashamed by the hypocrisy I see in other women–especially those in a position of power who have willfully robbed so many of fundamental choices. It’s supremely gross and infinitely wrong.
At this present time, I’m in my mid-thirties. I’m fortunate to be with the love of my life, in a beautiful relationship of 15 years. He is the one and only person I’d want to start a family with, if I felt that decision was right for me. At this time, with the upheaval of basic human rights exploding before me, I cannot fathom raising children in this country. If I do choose to start a family someday, it will not be on American soil. For those who believe the overturning of Roe v Wade was in favor of families, you’re completely mistaken. I and many others are more reticent now than ever to start a family, and it’s because I don’t want to raise a child in a world where they have less rights than I knew. Also–if I had complications in a pregnancy, and had a life-threatening circumstance that led to miscarriage, in some states–I would be vulnerable to prosecution. Criminalizing pregnancy at any stage is completely egregious and the most unpatriotic offense I can imagine. There is nothing free about this land, if that becomes the law.
This issue is so much deeper than the right to abortion–this is explicitly about control, oppression, and the fight for empowerment. Empowerment is the direction that I’d like to focus on, and I encourage you all to do the same. When we become empowered, we threaten the establishments that benefit from our suppression. Women are capable of bringing life into this world–that is power. Women are brilliant–capable of supreme innovation and groundbreaking creativity, with infinite potential and limitless love. Women have everything to contribute to the betterment of humankind. Women are stronger than anyone ever gives credit for. When we become empowered, the old chains break and we rise to positions of leadership. We become emboldened, confident, and unconquerable. When we embrace our empowerment, we radiate our brilliance from within and originate a better way forward. The world needs our light desperately, our wisdom and our guidance. If we regress to a backseat in society and allow the measurement of our worth to be dictated by a handful of people, every amazing gift we can bring to this earth becomes disrupted.
I’ve been reviewing a number of headlines declaring that women are now second-class citizens in America. While by law we have had a constitutional right ripped away, we remain as powerful as we’ve always been. The Supreme Court of the United States is only as significant as we, the people, allow them to be. The conservative majority have rendered themselves illegitimate, biased, and corrupt—their logic is baseless and a direct betrayal to the foundation of our democracy. Our worth is not determined by their decisions, we are greater than that. The truth is that our right to choice, our God-given autonomy, and our voices cannot be moderated by a law because they are inherently ours. We’re here–complete human beings of free will–and if we allow ourselves to be told that we are now less, we diminish our own worth. It’s up to us, not any outside force. Laws change, societies evolve, politicians argue, people fight, and history fades with memory. But we are still here, with an inalienable right to make our own choices. That right comes from a force more powerful than any transient law.
To every one of my sisters in this world: do not allow any outside voice to ever convince you that you’re somehow less than, or unworthy of choice. You are here–complete, radiant, beautiful, strong–and free.